Getting Ready...Counting Down...

Written on Thursday, June 23rd
A mere ten days until T-day- and I have brought myself to my favorite retreat center in the foothills of the Appalachian Mountains of North Carolina for a couple of days of “R&R”: reflection & renewal. I have been coming to this quiet, lovely home-away-from-home for nearly 10 years and in that time, the staff at Well of Mercy have become dear and valued friends. Driving over the final hill to see the Well nestled in the valley below slows my breathing…settles my heartbeat…and the welcoming hugs from Julia, Karen, and Sister Donna yesterday were food to my spirit as fully as the wonderful, home-cooked meal shared by 10 of us last evening fed my body.

Peculiar how I always seem to get what I most need when I come here. The meditation in chapel last evening was on fear…how often we let it interfere with what we’re supposed to do, with what we’re supposed to learn about ourselves. Then a bit of time spent studying Kiswali, some reading on my Kindle, and I was in bed by 10p.m. But before I could fall fully asleep, a mighty wind began raging outside…treetops waving wildly…the whole world seemingly being swept by this powerful Ruach- this breath of God. And as I lay there in the darkness- it is fully dark here at the Well; no extraneous lighting from the surrounding world nor sounds of traffic or other people, no TV or ringing telephone- it seemed to me that I was being blown clean…that fears and doubts were being blown away…cleared out of my mind and heart to make room for what will be filling them both in the coming weeks. And perhaps that is why I am here…to clear out anything and everything which will interfere with my full engagement with the people, the work, the energy and ethos of both Kenya and Rwanda in the journey which lies ahead of me.

As I look outside this morning, I can see branches and leaf clusters littering the lawn around my cottage…the storm took its toll as storms always do. But the clearing and cleansing are also part of the aftermath…the opportunity for what is new to fill the spaces left by the clearing away of the old. So here I am at this moment…refreshed after more than 8 hours of sleep, freshened by the cleansing winds which removed accumulated detritus, and ready for the adventure and service which lie ahead in Africa. Asante kuwa Mungu! Thanks be to God!

in preparation…
Breathe…
Breathe out fear…
Breathe out the concern of making mistakes…
Breathe out the anxiety of not having enough…

Breathe…
Breathe in peace…
Breathe in comfort and energy and love…
Breathe in courage and wisdom and strength…

Let go…
      of the need to control…
      of the need to have all the answers…
      of the need to know, always know…  

Embrace…
     mystery…
     adventure…
     hope… 

Dare…
     to step out in faith…
     to leap into the darkness…
     to do the previously unthinkable… 

Celebrate…
     the challenge of living with integrity…
     the wonder of following life-long dreams…
     the gifts of compassion and service… 

Now…NOW…
      I am prepared for the journey.
    

Why not go out on a limb?

Isn't that where the fruit is?  -Frank Scully

To dwell in new spirit is to enter a complete spontaneity of direction;

this is a voyage of trust imbued with passion- any destination is possible.
-John O'Donohue

here & now
Here i stand, on the threshold
of adventure...preparing to be
borne aloft by huge silver wings
in the gravity-defying mystery
of flight, to places far beyond
my usual scope of life...

Here i stand, readying myself

to take a daring leap into the
unknown, certain that a voice
of love & compassion is
calling me...

Here i stand, naked & shivering

in the brilliant light of the
reality of tickets purchased,
reservations made, preparations
well underway...

Here i stand, aware of the

enfolding arms of Love which
are surrounding, uplifting,
carrying me forward into
the beckoning future...

Here i stand- but soon I will SOAR!

Time is Flying...

And suddenly it is mid-June...with summer officially beginning on Tuesday, a full moon two evenings ago, and my own flight a mere sixteen days away. All of the pieces are falling into place...contacts continue to be made...appointments set up...and suddenly this year's journey is promising to be even more amazing than I had originally imagined, kind of like the moon through the trees in my back yard- the glimpse in the early morning hours making me gasp with awe and delight.

Of course, the rise in gasoline prices is having an effect on travel, too. Our drivers are having to charge more for their daily rate to make up for the increase, and the flight from Kenya to Rwanda will cost more than previously expected. So, peanut butter sandwiches will be the order of the day upon my return...with a bit of belt-tightening here and there...but I am totally convinced that this is my "call" right now- this journey to east Africa, to work with our grandmothers and grandchildren...to interface with other non-profits...to learn more about what services might be available for our grandmothers and their families.

And so I am preparing happily, with great excitement...doing those things here at home to prepare for being away for five weeks. This week, I'll head to my favorite retreat center for a couple of days to ready my heart and mind and spirit for the summer pilgrimage of service and connection, all the while looking skyward and preparing to fly!

A Month Away...

Checked the temperatures in Nairobi on Accuweather this morning- 84 degrees with 30% humidity, dropping to 54 tonight. Sounds pretty good to me, sweltering here in Carolina. Made a calendar of "things to do in June" last evening, so nothing is forgotten and i can travel with no encumbrances here at home. A couple of books added to my Kindle for traveling...and the stack of things on the spare room bed grows with each passing day. Don't want to forget anything essential...and yet...and yet...i find myself longing for the far more laid-back attitude of the Kenyans, the Rwandans. I am in love with Africa! Know of no other way to express it.


My "I'm Going to Africa" dance

I cannot adequately express my gratitude for the generosity of so many of my family members and friends, as travel to Africa is expensive, to say the least. You are wonderful to share so willingly, from open and loving hearts. And my excitement is building as i make contact with other non-profits, with Kenyans who are making a difference in their own country, with Rwandans whose great hearts reach out to me in welcome. I will miss my family here, yet will embrace and be embraced by my "family" there.

And so the next 32 days will pass quickly, i know...filled with to-do lists and errands and chores here at home, while my heart is already winging to the place i will call home for 5 wonderful, wonder-filled weeks!