Questions without Answers...

Actually wrote this melancholy poem in the midst of today's errands, etc. but prior to our time with the Nyanyas. The words still ring true, but the time with our wonderful women convinced me that I am indeed where I am supposed to be at this moment. Let it be so...

which way now?
I walk the path before me,
and though the way has
long seemed clear,
the light strong and my tread certain,
i stand now at a crossroads,
an intersection where the
roads diverge. No signposts
mark the way and gazing
far ahead, the road is dark,
regardless which i choose
to follow. No guiding light.
No leading hand. And i
feel lost and all alone,
uncertain and a bit afraid.
From the far distance, i hear voices
calling, "Come this way!", the
sounds echoing from family and home
and church, responsibilities
both comfortingly familiar and
familiarly onerous...
while other songs sound
as dirges in my ears, fraught
with sadness and the anticipation of loss.
Where is the laughter? the songs
of joy? Where is the sunshine?
Where the light and clarity of
purpose that i seek?
And where, oh where, shall my
steps lead me next?

     And a voice says clearly,
     "Just take a step...reach
     out your hand. The way
     will open. I will be here...
     no matter what the choice,
     I will be here."

Bits & Pieces...

Thanks to some dear friends, these are the prayers with which I am beginning each day:

     May today there be peace within.
     May I trust God that I am exactly
        where I am meant to be.
     May I not forget the infinite possibilities
        that are born of faith.
     May I use those gifts that I have received,
        and pass on the love that has been
        given to me.
     May I be content knowing
        I am a child of God.
     Let this presence settle into my bones,
        and allow my soul the freedom
        to sing, dance, praise and love.
     It is there for each and every one of us.
                                                    -St. Teresa of Avila

     Dear God, help me to spread your love
     wherever I go.
     Penetrate and possess my whole being
     so fully that all my life will reflect
     your compassion.
     Shine through me and be so in me
     that every person I meet will feel
     your presence in my spirit.
                                                   -from Cardinal John Newman

Cannot recall the last time I have spent 10 consecutive days WITH other people. So goes against my grain. Virtually every minute of every day is done to accompaniment- which is difficult for this, at heart, very solitary person. And solitude, silence, is being quite difficult to come by...

     Questing after
      Undisturbed,
      Individually alone,
      Essential
      Time

          random thoughts...
              Voices carry
          messages which
           break my heart-
                 I weep

              Faces show
            the strain of life
           in spite of smiling
                camouflage
            
          Hands grasp hands
             in friendship or
          perhaps in hope of
               being saved

             Black & white-
           but not a case of
                 either-or
                 but both

        IT IS THE ONLY WAY!