Written on Thursday, June 23rd
A mere ten days until T-day- and I have brought myself to my favorite retreat center in the foothills of the Appalachian Mountains of North Carolina for a couple of days of “R&R”: reflection & renewal. I have been coming to this quiet, lovely home-away-from-home for nearly 10 years and in that time, the staff at Well of Mercy have become dear and valued friends. Driving over the final hill to see the Well nestled in the valley below slows my breathing…settles my heartbeat…and the welcoming hugs from Julia, Karen, and Sister Donna yesterday were food to my spirit as fully as the wonderful, home-cooked meal shared by 10 of us last evening fed my body.
Peculiar how I always seem to get what I most need when I come here. The meditation in chapel last evening was on fear…how often we let it interfere with what we’re supposed to do, with what we’re supposed to learn about ourselves. Then a bit of time spent studying Kiswali, some reading on my Kindle, and I was in bed by 10p.m. But before I could fall fully asleep, a mighty wind began raging outside…treetops waving wildly…the whole world seemingly being swept by this powerful Ruach- this breath of God. And as I lay there in the darkness- it is fully dark here at the Well; no extraneous lighting from the surrounding world nor sounds of traffic or other people, no TV or ringing telephone- it seemed to me that I was being blown clean…that fears and doubts were being blown away…cleared out of my mind and heart to make room for what will be filling them both in the coming weeks. And perhaps that is why I am here…to clear out anything and everything which will interfere with my full engagement with the people, the work, the energy and ethos of both Kenya and Rwanda in the journey which lies ahead of me.
As I look outside this morning, I can see branches and leaf clusters littering the lawn around my cottage…the storm took its toll as storms always do. But the clearing and cleansing are also part of the aftermath…the opportunity for what is new to fill the spaces left by the clearing away of the old. So here I am at this moment…refreshed after more than 8 hours of sleep, freshened by the cleansing winds which removed accumulated detritus, and ready for the adventure and service which lie ahead in Africa. Asante kuwa Mungu! Thanks be to God!
in preparation…
Breathe…
Breathe out fear…
Breathe out the concern of making mistakes…
Breathe out the anxiety of not having enough…
Breathe…
Breathe in peace…
Breathe in comfort and energy and love…
Breathe in courage and wisdom and strength…
Let go…
of the need to control…
of the need to have all the answers…
of the need to know, always know…
Embrace…
mystery…
adventure…
hope…
Dare…
to step out in faith…
to leap into the darkness…
to do the previously unthinkable…
Celebrate…
the challenge of living with integrity…
the wonder of following life-long dreams…
the gifts of compassion and service…
Now…NOW…
I am prepared for the journey.
Why not go out on a limb?
Isn't that where the fruit is? -Frank Scully
To dwell in new spirit is to enter a complete spontaneity of direction;
this is a voyage of trust imbued with passion- any destination is possible.
-John O'Donohue
here & now
Here i stand, on the threshold
of adventure...preparing to be
borne aloft by huge silver wings
in the gravity-defying mystery
of flight, to places far beyond
my usual scope of life...
Here i stand, readying myself
to take a daring leap into the
unknown, certain that a voice
of love & compassion is
calling me...
Here i stand, naked & shivering
in the brilliant light of the
reality of tickets purchased,
reservations made, preparations
well underway...
Here i stand, aware of the
enfolding arms of Love which
are surrounding, uplifting,
carrying me forward into
the beckoning future...
Here i stand- but soon I will SOAR!
